Самые лучшие английские анекдоты / The Best English Jokes - стр. 9

One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard how his son was praying, «God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma.[76] Ta ta, Grandpa.[77]» The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack.[78] The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit afraid. The next night, he heard his son was praying again, «God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma.» The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. The next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son’s door the next night. And the boy started to pray, «God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy.» Now the father was very afraid. He stayed up[79] all night, and went to the doctor’s early the next day to make sure[80] his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, «Thank God you’re here! You can help us! Our milkman was dead on our porch this morning!»

Patient (to the doctor): Will it hurt,[81] doctor? Doctor: Only when you get my bill, sir.

The psychology instructor finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.[82] She was speaking about maniac depression,[83] so she asked, «How will you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth,[84] who screams at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair and weeps the next?» A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, «A coach?»

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