Смешные рассказы / The Funny Stories - стр. 11

I said to myself that I am responsible for this, and I must go with him and protect the country from him. So I took my poor little capital that I saved up through years of work and economy and bought a place in his regiment.

And there – oh dear, it was awful. Mistakes? All he did was a mistake. But, you see, nobody understood his secret – they took his idiotic mistakes for inspirations of genius; they did! His smallest mistakes could make a normal man cry; and they made me cry. And the strangest thing was the fact that every new mistake he made increased his reputation! I said to myself: he'll get so high that when they finally understand everything, it will be like the sun fell out of the sky.

He still went up, over the dead bodies, until at last, in the hottest moment of the battle our colonel died, and my heart jumped into my mouth, because Scoresby was next in rank!

The battle was awfully hot; the allies were giving way all over the field[17]. Our regiment occupied a very important position; one mistake could destroy everything. At this critical moment, our fool orders the regiment to change its place and occupy a neighboring hill. 'This is the end,' I said to myself.

And we went away, and were very close to the hill. And what did we find? An entire Russian army! And what happened? Were we killed? That is what would happen in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. But no; those Russians thought that a single regiment would not walk around there at such a time. It must be the whole English army; so they turned and ran away, and we after them; and the defeat of the allies turned into a victory! Marshal Canrobert sent for Scoresby, and hugged him, and awarded him on the field in presence of all the armies!

And what was Scoresby's mistake? Just the mistaking his right hand and his left – that was all. An order came to him to support our right; and instead he went to the left. But he won the name as a military genius, and his glory will never end.

He is good and sweet and lovable, but he doesn't know enough to come in home when it rains[18]. He was a soldier in all our wars for half a generation; he made all the mistakes he could, but never made a mistake that didn't make him a knight or a baronet or a lord or something. Look at his chest; at his medals. Well, sir, each of them is a proof of a stupidity; and, together, they are proof that the best thing in the world is to be born lucky.

“My aunt will soon be down, Mr. Nuttel,” said a very self-possessed young lady of fifteen; “in the meantime you must try and put up with me.”