Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения - стр. 9
After browsing (после беглого рассматривания; browse – молодые побеги; to browse – ощипывать листья, молодые побеги; пролистывать, небрежно просматривать), the drummer says, “I think I'd like the big red one in the corner (я думаю, мне подойдет большой красный в углу).”
The store owner looks at him (смотрит на него) and says, “You're a drummer, aren't you (вы ударник, не так ли)?”
The drummer, crestfallen (упавший духом: crest – гребешок /петуха/ + to fall – падать), says, “How did you know (как вы узнали)?”
The store owner says, “That 'big red accordion' is the radiator (тот большой красный аккордеон – радиатор).”
decides [dɪ'saɪdz], change [ʧeɪnʤ], instrument ['ɪnstrǝmǝnt], thought [θɔ:t], music ['mju:zɪk], gestures ['ʤesʧǝz], browsing ['braʋzɪŋ], crestfallen ['krestfɔ:l(ǝ)n], radiator ['reɪdɪeɪtǝ]
A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument.
After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, “I'd like to look at the accordions, please.”
The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says, “All our accordions are over there.”
After browsing, the drummer says, “I think I'd like the big red one in the corner.”
The store owner looks at him and says, “You're a drummer, aren't you?”
The drummer, crestfallen, says, “How did you know?”
The store owner says, “That 'big red accordion' is the radiator.”
• I'd like to look at the accordions, please.
• How did you know?
18. A guy walks into the doctor's office and says (человек заходит в кабинет врача и говорит; guy – /разг./ малый, парень), “Doc, I haven't had a bowel (кишка/кишечник) movement (движение) in a week (доктор, у меня нет стула неделю)!” The doctor gives him a prescription (дает ему рецепт) for a mild laxative (мягкого слабительного) and tells him, “If it doesn't work, let me know (если не поможет, дайте мне знать).”
A week later (спустя неделю), the guy is back (человек возвращается): “Doc, still (по-прежнему) no movement!”
The doctor says, “Hmm, guess (/мне/ кажется) you need (вам нужно) something stronger (что-то сильнее),” and prescribes (выписывает) a powerful laxative (сильное слабительное; power – мощь).
Still (все же/тем не менее) another week later (спустя еще неделю: «спустя другую неделю») the poor (несчастный) guy is back: “Doc, STILL nothing (по-прежнему ничего)!”
The doctor, worried (обеспокоенный), says, “We'd better get some more information about you (нам лучше получить побольше информации о вас)