Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения - стр. 11
Finally (наконец), before the whole orchestra, he said (перед всем оркестром он сказал), “When a musician just can't handle his instrument (когда музыкант просто не умеет обращаться со своим инструментом) and doesn't improve when given help (и не совершенствуется, когда получает помощь), they take away the instrument («они» забирают «прочь» инструмент), and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer (и дают ему две палочки и делают его ударником).”
A stage whisper («театральный» шепот) was heard from the percussion section (был услышан cо стороны ударников; to hear; percussion – столкновение; percussion instrument – ударный инструмент): “And if he can't handle even that (а если он не может владеть даже этим; to handle – оперировать; справляться), they take away one of his sticks (забирают одну из его палочек) and make him a conductor (и делают его дирижером).”
director [dɪ'rektǝ; daɪ(ǝ)'rektǝ], performance [pǝ'fɔ:mǝns], improve [ɪm'pru:v], finally ['faɪn(ǝ)lɪ], orchestra ['ɔ:kɪstrǝ], percussion [pǝ'kʌʃ(ǝ)n], conductor [kǝn'dʌktǝ]
A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.”
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: “And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor.”
• He can't handle even that.
21. For the first time in many years (в первый раз за много лет), an old man traveled from his rural town to the city (пожилой человек приехал из cвоего провинциального городка в город) to attend a movie (посетить кино). After buying his ticket (после покупки билета/купив билет), he stopped to purchase some popcorn (он остановился купить попкорна).
Handing the attendant (давая служащему) $1.50, he couldn't help but comment (он не смог удержаться от замечания), “The last time I came to the movie (последний раз, когда я был в кино), popcorn was only 15 cents (попкорн был только 15 центов).”
“Well, sir (ну, сэр),” the attendant replied (ответил) with a grin (с усмешкой), “You're really going to enjoy yourself (вы действительно развлечетесь). We have sound now (теперь у нас есть звук = теперь кино звуковое)…”
traveled ['træv(ǝ)ld], rural ['rʋǝr(ǝ)l], movie ['mu:vɪ]