Simple Truths of Life - стр. 88

Needless to say, such a course of events did not appeal to all people. The group creator, who was always friendly to me, decided to call me an “idiot” because I deleted my videos before removing me from his friends. And he was partially right, but he was mistaken in one thing – I was an idiot for having connected the year of my life with these groups, but now I know that events simply could not have developed differently… but more on that later.

Another woman removed me from her friends, saying that she considered me an interesting person. But the question arises – what had changed in my “interest-ness” if I just deleted a few hundred, maybe thousand, videos? I realized my mistake, accepted it, and tried to reduce the damage. Is self-improvement not something interesting? And in everything else, I remained almost the same person that I was at that time.

In the group itself there appeared those people who before that did not dare to swear, as I tried to keep order, and now they had a chance to express everything that they thought about me. But, fortunately, there were those people who supported me, and some of them remain in the list of my friends till this day. Someone might say that in the end I just got rid of the weeds.

All year I tried to be noticeable in VK. I think I did not want to be alone. But then came the realization that the monitor screen cannot replace the real feelings of real life. I began to visit VK less often and I was alone once again. But then I was alone all that year, I just could not see it…

It is worth saying that I also received other messages in dreams telling me to work.

I will also mention that many years later I decided to remove absolutely all pirated programs from my computer, and now I have either purchased or free programs installed.

I have long noticed that my life was periodic, and my note could be the starting point of a new period in my life. I then once again became concentrated on the real world, and began to wake up in a happy state of mind… then I realized again how easy it was to live in the present, and that it took almost no effort – it does not matter how much you are “lost” in yourself; if you have the knowledge, then you can choose to focus on reality when you want it – ideally always, unless otherwise required from you. But then this simplicity raised a question in my head that would pop up more than once in the coming years – why could not I make this simple decision before I lost my health and began to lose lots of hair because of my stupid actions? After that question self-hatred would follow, followed by thoughts about the past and what could have happened, so that those thoughts could then mix with fantasies.