Learn to love. 30 tips how to live - стр. 4
There are exceptions. Once I was absolutely happy for four years, having an affair with a married man. That was my second love. He didn’t even think about getting a divorce because I loved him more, and for him it wasn’t the first time he cheated on his wife. It was his lifestyle. He treated me very well and never gave a reason for me to become addicted to him because he was always near. Such a happy exception happened to me. After a very painful breakup I was getting back to normal for a year. Then for several years I lived without anything going on in my personal life, mindlessly and calmly. This is how it was until last year I met a man in the street. Three months of irregular communication led to an addiction to him. And then he disappeared. He got divorced and then got married again. But not to me.
That short affair made me want to have a love life again. But there is nowhere to meet men. So I started meeting them online. I have had a couple of dates, but I haven’t found anything stable. It is disgusting. It looks like I can get acquainted and attract somebody online, I can arrange a meeting and have a date with him. But how do I make a long lasting relationship out of it? I have several online options right now. One of them is not even married and really wants woman’s affection. I haven’t seen him yet. I am afraid that nothing good will happen. I do call him though to vent out and he comforts me. I am so confused!
Answer. I think your mistake is that you give more than you take. You make three steps toward a man and he makes only one step toward you. This is what too compassionate and kind women constantly do. There is this simple rule: when you stop running away, you stop being chased. Practice, try it on somebody and then share your results! You show that you are dependent and interested too much. At the end of your date you could say: «And now it is time to say good-bye, because I wanted to meet with you only this one time.» It is very likely that after that he will not want to leave you alone! You need to know men’s mindset. You need to use this simple principle: love a man less than he loves you. Act as if you have a lot of other options. What you lack is confidence. And males, just like females, choose confident partners. It happens this way because nature tells them to pick out the best ones, to procreate.
Imagine that you see a man for the first time. How can you tell that his children will be good, or if you put it in crude terms, that he will be a good breeder? Firstly, you look at his appearance. Secondly, you look at how confident he is. If he is confident, it means that he knows many good things about himself. Right? Men think the same way about women. If a female is confident, it means that she is in high demand among males. If there are many males around her, it means that she is a good female. Look at your life. This logic always works. I had a relationship with a very smart and reserved man once. All of his outbursts of feelings toward me were happening when he would see me surrounded by other men.