Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни - стр. 22
5. «Please, bring a towel from the bedroom,» he asked her.
6. «Where are you?» she asked.
7. «Why are you staring at me in such a way?» he asked.
8. «Well, that is what we had so much fun with last night,» he answered.
9. And she asked in despair, «Is that all we have left?»
7. Put the verbs into proper forms:
1. When the young couple were getting married, they (to decide) _______ they (to celebrate) _______ their first night together.
2. He said that he (to go) _______ to the bathroom in the morning.
3. Morning came and the groom (to go) _______ into the bathroom but (to find) _______ no towel there.
4. When she got to the bathroom door, he (already to open) _______ it from inside.
5. She said that was all that they (to leave) _______.
8. Render the joke.
Section 12
The groom's childhood diseases
Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time.
He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. «What happened to your feet?» his wife asked.
«I had a childhood disease called tolio.»
«Don't you mean polio?»
«No, tolio, it only affects the toes.»
He then removed his pants and revealed an awful looking pair of knees. «What happened to your knees?» she asked.
«Well, I also had kneesles.»
«Don't you mean measles?»
«No, kneesles, it only affects the knees.»
When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said, «Don't tell me, you also had smallcox!»
Study the words and expressions given below:
toe палец ноги
to twist скручивать
to discolor обесцвечивать
disease болезнь
polioразг. полиомиелит
to affect влиять t
o removeзд. снимать
to reveal открывать
awful ужасный
knee колено
measles корь
shorts трусы, шорты
to gasp задыхаться, открывать рот от изумления
smallpox оспа
smallcox результат игры слов, наложения семантики слова smallpox на просматривающееся через контекст слово cock, которое в силу этого приобретает оттенки значения «маленький»
to get undressed раздеться
awful lookingразг. awfully looking выглядящий ужасно
1. Answer the questions to the text:
1. What were the newlyweds doing for the first time?
2. What did the groom's toes look like?
3. How did he explain the condition of his feet?
4. What was wrong with his knees and how did he account for this fact?
5. When he removed his shorts, what disease did his wife suspect he might have had?
2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:
1. Two newlyweds _______ their honeymoon.
2. His toes were _______ twisted and discolored.
3. What _______ to your feet?
4. I had a _______ disease called tolio.