Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни - стр. 17
2. The husband wasn't sitting in the bathroom. (I – neither): Neither was I.
1. I've got really smelly feet. (they – too)
2. My socks absolutely stink. (mine – also)
3. I didn't manage to keep it from her. (we – either)
4. We weren't dating. (they – neither)
5. I've been very lucky to keep it from him. (she – so)
6. The husband has finally plucked up enough courage. (I – so)
7. He hadn't walked into the bedroom. (she – either)
8. He won't walk over to the bed. (I – neither)
9. He didn't put his arm around her neck. (I – either)
10. He moves his face very close to hers. (I – too)
11. I've a confession to make. (she – so)
8. Insert articles where necessary:
1. The husband was sitting in _______ bathroom on edge of the bathtub.
2. I've got really smell _______ feet and my socks absolutely stink.
3. I've managed to keep it from _______ her while we were dating.
4. The wife was sitting in _______ bed.
5. How do I tell my _______ husband that I've got really badbreath?
6. The husband plucks up enoug _______ hcourage.
7. He walks into _______ bedroom.
8. He puts his arm around her _______ neck.
9. Render the joke.
Section 9
Wedding night practical jokes
A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn't have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided to just go back to their new apartment after the wedding.
The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other an ordinary guy, and the third a dentist.
They all decided to pull practical jokes on their newly married friends. The carpenter decided he would cut the slats in the bed so that when they climbed into bed, the bed would collapse. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed, so that when they got into it their feet wouldn't reach the bottom. The dentist chuckled and wouldn't tell anyone what he planned to do.
A week later the three friends all received letters in the mail.
«Dear friends, we didn't mind the fact that when we got into bed, the bed collapsed, or the guy that short-sheeted it, but I'm gonna kill the bastard that put the novacaine in the vaseline!»
Study the words and expressions given below:
groom жених
to commit совершать, устраивать
carpenter плотник
ordinary обычный
guy парень
dentist дантист
slat перекладина
to collapse падать, рушиться
bottom низ
to chuckle хихикать
to mind возражать, иметь что-либо против
bastard ублюдок
novacaine новокаин
vaseline вазелин
to plan on doing sth планировать сделать что-л.
to be prone to doing sth иметь склонность к чему-л.